Appointments

Last week was filled with appointments.  Here are the updates:

Elliot saw the urologist — you know, “the tenders doctor!” This was just a follow-up appointment from his surgery this summer to fix an undescended testicle.  The doctor was pleased and gave Elliot a quick lesson in self-exam, explaining that Elliot is at higher risk for testicular cancer since one of his was undescended.  Paul couldn’t believe the doctor would be so grim, telling a 10 year old he might get cancer.  But really the doctor handled it just fine.  It is good for Elliot to hear of the importance of self-exam from a doctor who has way more authority in those kinds of things.  Did you know that testicular cancer is the #1 cancer in males ages 14-40?  Well, now you do.

Chloe got her new AFOs. AFOs are Ankle Foot Orthosis – plastic braces for the foot and ankle.  Chloe has worn braces for years.  When she was younger, her braces were SMOs (Supra-Malleolar Orthosis) which went up mid-calf.  But now she wears braces that only go up past her ankles.  These braces help give her support and balance and are a great aid in “grounding” her — helping her realize where she is in space.  Don’t know if that makes any sense.  Anyway, she has been without AFOs for a few months because we couldn’t get a pair to work for her.  I tired of the struggle and just stopped trying.  But since she really does need the support of the AFOs, she was finally fitted for new ones.  We picked them up this week.  My first impression is that they are going to be great for her!  She seems more sturdy and solid — the “grounding” part I mentioned before.  I will put the new braces on her for an hour or two each day until she’s used to them — her skin is so sensitive, and sometimes the plastic really rubs.  But so far, so good!

Zippy went to the psychiatrist. If you remember back before Christmas she tried him on Zoloft to try to calm his anxieties, but the Zoloft wasn’t a good medicine for him.  We weaned him off of it the first week or so of December.  This week she started him on Prozac, again for the anxieties.  We are praying and crossing our fingers that this is a good medicine for him and that it will help bring some peace to our home.  (Peace has not shown her face around here very much for the last couple of months.)  She also doubled Zach’s Focalin — the medicine he takes for ADHD.  She couldn’t believe how active and distracted and crazy he was in her office.  ”Well, the obvious thing is that we need to double his Focalin,” she said after watching him do a few back flips off of the table in her office.  Just kidding about the back flips.  But she was pretty surprised at his activity level.  (I always feel like doctors feel a little bit sorry for me at times like that.  It’s weird.  I don’t think it’s really pity, per se, but it’s something that I can’t quite put my finger on.  But it makes me do my nervous giggle and change the subject.)  My job for the next month is to monitor him on his new medicine, watching for ugly psych side effects, and to try to decipher if the issues we are still having with him are more ADHD (impulsiveness, etc.) or more Anxiety Disorder (anxious, worried, irrational fears).  That is a very tricky distinction.  She said with a child as complicated as Zachary that “it all gets convoluted.”  Why, yes, I would say so.

I met with Chloe’s teacher and her aide and talked about her Proloquo2Go (P2G).  They are very excited for her to use it.  But it is tricky to figure out how best to use it at school.  Chloe just wants to play with it and reprogram it, but we need to let her see that it is a useful tool – a voice- for her.  Very tricky.  The aide took it home one night and played around with it a bit.  The teacher took it home the next night and played around with it.  Then they introduced the P2G at school.  I think it went okay, but both days they used the P2G Chloe ended up completely melting down to the point that I picked her up early.  It is my guess that it was the P2G that caused great frustration to her.  Well, the P2G didn’t cause great frustration.  I think the great frustration came when the aide didn’t allow Chloe to have free-reign of the iPod Touch.  So it just goes to show that we have some training to do with Chloe, for sure.  I still have very high hopes for Chloe and her P2G, but it is a slow process integrating it into life.

And I went to the chiropractor so that she could try to fix me.  Carrying 40-pound Chloe is an amazingly difficult thing to do.  Lifting her wheelchair in and out of my van is not always an easy chore.  Sleeping in all kinds of positions and places while I stay up all night giving breathing treatments is not a kind way to treat my spine.  Etc, etc, etc.  So I go to the chiropractor, and she fixes me right up.  Love her!

Not Me! Monday

Today I’m joining MckMama and lots of other bloggers in Not Me! Monday, where we are confessing many things that we absolutely did not do this week!  (Of course we didn’t!)  You can click on over to her blog to see what other bloggers have not been doing!

Here are a few things I have not been doing:

This week I did not visit four different stores looking for just the perfect Valentines cards for Elliot.  The first football Valentine cards I bought were not deemed “too girly” and not taken back to the store immediately.

I did not nearly burn my house down making a quick little snack for myself.  I did not learn that tostados (flat taco shells) melt under the extreme heat of a toaster oven.  Nope!  Not me!

I did not put off and put off and put off buying food for snacks for our Super Bowl party so long that I had to run into the grocery store, grab bags of this and jars of that and then dash back out again, only to arrive at the party quite late.  And I did not have the babysitter with me, making her late, too.  No way!  Not me! I’m always on time to everything.

I did not stand beside my bed this morning after the kids were off to school and wage a small battle inside my head.  The voices were not chanting:  ”Get in!  It’s warm inside!” and “No!  Quick!  Get in the shower and start your day!” and “But your hands are so cold!  You will freeze if you don’t get in here and warm up for a minute!”  and  ”No!  Getting back in bed would be a complete waste of time!”  And then, I did not turn on my electric blanket and crawl back in the bed with a huge smile on my face.  Nope.  Not me! And I did not stay in bed a little longer than just a minute!  Nope.  Not me!

How ’bout you?  Anything you have not been doing this week?

New Week’s Resolutions

I never made New Year’s Resolutions this year.  I haven’t made any in several years, actually.  I resist resolutions for several reasons.

First, there is something deep within me that resists what’s popular.  (Thanks, Mom.)  So since there is always a big hype over making resolutions for January 1st, I resist it with all that I am.

Second, it’s depressing trying to narrow down my shortcomings into a few resolutions that will improve my life and my being.  That’s daunting.

Third, I know that the average New Year’s Resolution lasts one week.  7 days.  And that’s it.  And I feel like exerting that much hype over one week of good choices is pointless and exhausting.

And fourth, this year anyway, I was so busy at the turn of the year — the turn of the decade — that I couldn’t sit down and think of much.

I did, however, sit down around the middle of January and make a short list of “things to try to change.”  I, of course, did not dare call them resolutions, for fear of looking like the crazies who make New Year’s Resolutions.  I was going to mention my list of “things to change” on this blog, but by the time I sat down to write about it, I had messed up on each one of the attempted changes, not even making it a week.

Humph!

But I have decided that since the average resolution lasts only 7 days, I could and should make New WEEK’s Resolutions with the hope that I will succeed with one or two of them!  I think it’s a great idea.

So, now, with no further ado, here is my first installment of New Week’s Resolutions:

1.  Write a letter to each of my children.  I have been challenged recently by a couple of examples of parents writing letters to their children.  What a treasure for that child to have when they grow up!  I love the idea!  I’m baffled presently at what in the world I should say in the letters to my children, but I resolve (love that word) to write 3 letters this week and put them away for safe keeping.  (I may give them a copy to read now, too, to make them feel extra special.)

2.  Straighten and organize my desk and “work stuff” and keep it that way.  Just for a week!  Surely I can do it for 7 days!!

3.  Don’t eat all day everyday like I’m preparing for hibernation.  I won’t elaborate on this one since you can probably relate.  What?? I’m just sayin’ . . . .

And I’m going to stop with three so I don’t stress out and shut down.

Want to join me?  Want to make some New Week’s Resolutions?

Leave your list in the comments and give it a go!  Good luck!

Big Brother Blues

It is tough being a big brother.  And it’s especially tough being the big brother to two special-needs siblings.

Elliot is a great big brother.  God has given him extra grace and patience and kindness far above what seems normal for a boy his age.  God has equipped him for his special job of being the big brother in our family.

But sometimes his patience wears thin.  Sometimes his grace for Zach seems to disappear for a season.  Sometimes his kindness is difficult to spy in his interactions with his little brother.

Now, I must add here that Zach is the most extreme “little brother” I’ve ever seen.  If you picture the stereotypical annoying little brother, you have to multiply that picture by 97 to get the true picture of the little brother who lives at our house.  I admit that Elliot lives with a difficult and exhausting brother.

For the past month or more, Elliot has been impatient with Zach.  While normally Elliot uses a kind voice when asking Zippy to stop doing whatever annoying behavior he is inflicting on Elliot, lately his voice has been harsh, impatient, and mean.

Like a typical little brother, Zach loves to see Elliot frustrated and irritated.  The more Elliot reacts angrily, the more Zach’s annoyances thrive.  The more Elliot runs off tattling desperately on Zach, the more Zach laughs and tortures him.

You see, there is a vicious and ugly cycle taking place under our roof.  And in our van.  And in the driveway.  And at restaurants.  The cycle of annoying little brother purposely fueling the irritation of big brother who explodes with emotion which fuels little brother’s annoying behavior which explodes the emotions of big brother . . . .  And so on.  And so on.  And so on.

Well, today when Elliot exploded and came running in to tattle on Zippy’s latest act, I took the opportunity to talk to Elliot a minute about his responses to his brother.  I pointed out that lately he has been using a terrible voice with Zach and was prepared to go into my whole speech about the cycle and choices and patience.  But I was interrupted by Elliot’s wails.

He burst into tears and talked about how hard it is to be the big brother.  ”Zippy is so annoying all the time! It is so hard to make the right choice!  It is so hard to be kind!  He makes me so mad!  He is so annoying!  I don’t like to be the big brother!  I wish I were the little brother!  You don’t understand how hard it is!  You don’t understand!  It is so hard to have a brother with special needs!  I wish I could be all done being the big brother!  I don’t want to be the big brother!  Why do I have to be the big brother?”  And so on.  And so on.  And so on.  Heartfelt, painful confessions from a pained and tired ten-year-old little boy.

The mom in me wanted to hold him and stroke his hair and tell him that it’s okay.  But I didn’t.  I just sat quietly beside him on the couch and let him talk.  It was important for my role to be just listening.  So that he could get it all out.  So that he could say it all.  So that he could cry.  So that he could purge.

When he finally stopped, I gave him a quick, gentle reminder of what a special job he has and what a special place he has in our family.  Then, whispering, I quickly explained the cycle, trying to convince him that he has the power to stop (or at least weaken) the cycle by not reacting to Zippy’s tactics.

I gave the example of how Chloe and Zippy are in a very similar cycle:  Chloe grabs onto Zippy’s legs with a death grip; Zippy freaks out screaming and flailing; Chloe hangs on tighter, laughing at Zippy’s reaction; Zippy gets madder and madder and louder and louder; Chloe holds on tighter and laughs more . . . .  you get the picture.  Again, an ugly cycle.

Elliot laughed as he pictured the very familiar, daily struggle between his brother and sister.  I explained that if Zippy was calm and kind when Chloe grabbed onto him, Chloe would be unamused and would stop her ankle hold on him pretty quickly.  But right now, she has a tactic that really pushes his buttons — and she loves it!

So will our chat make a difference?  Will there soon be more peace in our household with more patient response from the big brother?  Will the cycle (at least the one between the boys!) come to an end?

Who knows.  We will wait and see.  It’s all part of the ride!

4 Months

Four months ago today, I started this blog.

I’ve written 131 posts.

I’ve written funny stuff, sad stuff, easy stuff, hard stuff.

It’s been fun and therapeutic for me.

It’s been a great way to keep friends and family informed.

It’s been a little bit weird since I’m way more frank on this blog than I am in real life.

It’s been sweet “meeting” new people who stop by and read my stuff — and I theirs.

I like it, and I’m glad I’m doing it!

And I’m glad you’re doing it with me!

Happy Anniversary.  ;)

Repeating . . .

When I was at a friend’s house recently, she was on the phone with Charter Cable again, trying to get some problems fixed.  She wrestled for a bit with the automated recordings before she finally spoke with a breathing, blood-pumping human representative.  After scheduling for a technician to come out to her house, the representative explained that she was transferring my friend to listen to a recording.

The recording was lengthy and wordy, informing her of the specifics of the technician’s house call.  Then the recording announced, “This recording will now repeat.”  My friend laughed at that announcement and hung up the phone, choosing not to listen to the recording a second time.

I immediately laughed as I explained how awesome that announcement is!  I decided Zippy needed to be programmed to make a similar announcement:  ”Warning!  I’m about to repeat myself!”  or “Beware:  Repetitive conversation to follow!”  or “FYI:  I will now repeat myself!”

Play Ball!

I don’t just have one awesome, scoring basketball player in my family.  I have two!  And, again, we’re proud!

(above) Elliot dribbling right up to the basket to score!

(above) Elliot is the one ready and open, right before he catches the pass.  (Do you catch passes in basketball, I wonder?)

Go Tigers!

And (above) my boy has control of the ball again!

Go Elliot!

Siblings

Sibling Rivalry Stinks!

Especially when you’re the littlest and the loser in the battle . . .

Not Me! Monday

Today I’m joining MckMama and lots of other bloggers in Not Me! Monday, where we are confessing many things that we absolutely did not do this week!  (Of course we didn’t!)  You can click on over to her blog to see what other bloggers have not been doing!

Here are a few things I have not been doing:

I did not give into the craving for a LARGE Coke from one restaurant or another everyday in the month of January.  No way!  Not me! I have much more self-restraint than that.

I did not eat another entire package of candy this past week.  This week’s culprit:  York mini peppermint patties.  (PAUL:  stop buying candy and leaving it at the house!)  And I did not quietly celebrate as I popped the last one in my mouth last night.  Nope.  Not me!

I did not send Zachary to school a day earlier than perhaps I should have last week while he was sick with asthma simply because I had to be up at the school to feed 70 people lunch!  While I was in charge of the teacher luncheon, I would not have sent my sick boy to school so that I could do my job. . . . (In my defense, I was at his school all day and could give treatments or take him to the doctor or whatever needed to be done.  AND he did just fine with the nurse’s care and his teacher’s close eye.)

I did not get drenched in the freezing, cold rain while carrying 60 large bread bowls out to my car on Thursday!  I did not fight the urge to have a really bad attitude about wet jeans — one of my all-time least favorite things on the planet!  (The truth is, Zippy and laughed at how amazingly wet I got during this excursion.  And I must shout out a big ol thanks to the lady who walked beside me with her umbrella for a few paces!  People are so amazing!!)

Speaking of amazing people, my sweet husband did not move my electric blanket to the living room for me so I could watch Zachary closely all night and enjoy my awesome blanket!  He did not point out to me with a little bit of sarcasm after reading my blog about missing my blanket, “Your blanket is portable, ya know.”

I have not been really, really lazy in posting on my blog regularly, letting days go by with no posts.  Not me! You, my readers, are my #1 priority always even when my world is crashing down around me and I’m getting no sleep.  (But the awesome thing is, you would expect nothing less of me than to skip a day or two of posting so that I can care for my family!!  Thanks!)

I am not looking so forward to this week ahead of having NO SICK KIDS at home with me all week!  Chloe Baby, you do not get a week of being sick like your wimpy brothers did!  It’s just Mama at home this week!!!

Be Encouraged

“May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.”      2 Thessalonians 2:16-17