Posts Tagged ‘Dog’

Dumb Enough

Last night Zippy was in the living room floor playing with Coco, our little dog who somehow is still with us.  The dog and Zippy were both having a good time and using up some stored-up energy a little before bedtime.

Since I adore the dog so (please imagine MUCH sarcasm here), I bought him a new toy — a little squeaky stuffed raccoon or something or other.  Zippy grabbed the new toy from the dog and hid it behind his back, confusing the dumb little dog.

“I wonder if he’ll be dumb enough to do this!” Zippy said as he placed the beloved stuffed raccoon on his own head.  Before I even had time to redirect the whole lack of forethought thing, the dog went running full-force at Zippy’s face and plunged his 10-pound body, complete with pointy little paws directly into Zippy’s face.  Stunned, Zippy fell to his back holding his face and moaning.

Amazed at what I had just witnessed and trying to stifle a big ol laugh at Zippy’s expense, I just sat silently and stared.  I may have shook my head a little in disbelief.

“Whoa . . . ” Zippy said as he sat back up.  He sat stunned for a few seconds.  “I wonder if he’ll do it again,” Zippy said as he placed the raccoon back up on his own head.

Unable to watch it again, I left the room.  I have no idea how many times the dog waylaid Zippy and the raccoon.  I have no idea how many times Zippy continued to wonder.  I really don’t want to know.

What I do know is that less than 5 minutes later, Zippy filled a cup with ice cubes and plopped himself down on the couch.  Not surprisingly, he quickly got a big ol ice cube stuck onto his lips — frozen in place to both of Zippy’s lips.  I just shook my head in disbelief as he realized the ice was seriously stuck.

And then right before my eyes, Zippy grabbed that ice cube and ripped! it off of his lips.  And just like that, the ice cube was freed from Zippy’s face.

The first thing he noticed was the piece of lip on the ice cube.  The next thing he noticed was the taste of blood.  The next thing he noticed was his mama yelling at him to get a rag and go clean himself up.

It was a really amazing 7 minutes to witness.  Probably not the kid’s finest 7 minutes . . . .  I’m just sayin’.

And this morning when I saw the scab on his lip from the whole ice cube experience, I knew I had not made it up.  Really, I couldn’t have made that up.  The kid amazes me!

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Not Me! Monday

I used to join up with MckMama and lots of other bloggers in Not Me! Monday, where we confessed many things that we absolutely did not do this week!  (Of course we didn’t!)  But I get the feeling that she isn’t do it anymore so today I’m not linking up.

Not Me! Monday posts are a little tricky to read.  You sorta have to read through the code to see the truth!  Tricky, yes, but I’m sure you can do it even early on a Monday morning!

Here are a few things that have not been going on at my house this weekend:

I did not spend hours in Elliot’s room: cleaning out, organizing, getting rid of stuff, purging toys and too-small clothes, dusting (and sneezing!  A-Choo!!) yesterday.  I also did not then sprinkle some smell-good carpet powder on the peed-on-a-million-times-by-a-dumb-dog carpet and then finish up with a good ol vacuum job.  I then did not just stand, reveling in the wonderfully clean and organized room for a few minutes since it is not one of only 2 rooms in my house that are neat and clean — Hey, One room at a  time — Give me a break!  And then, as soon as I turned to leave, the dumb ol dog did not go directly in Elliot’s clean room and pee TWICE on the carpet just to spite me.  No, surely that would not happen to a mama who was still celebrating conquering a room in her out-of-control house.  And surely if it did happen, the tired mama would’ve killed or at the very least kicked said dog for his ridiculous and rude behavior.  Alas, I did not avoid the dog like crazy for the rest of the day for fear that I would hurt him.  No, I’m pretty sure the above did not happen to me on an otherwise lovely holiday weekend.

It was not only an hour later that Paul came and told me that the dog had not chewed the earpiece off of Chloe’s brand new glasses.  It was certainly not Chloe’s week-old glasses that cost nearly $500.  No, surely a dog would not be SO dumb as to choose a chew toy that expensive.  <sigh>  I did not loudly pronounce my hatred for the canine yet again, and I did not go stomping and pouting and grumbling to my room.  And I did not happily receive the pick-me-up snack of chocolate cake and mint chocolate chip ice cream a few minutes later.  Nope, not me.

I am not seriously considering applying for the Dog Whisperer either.  Uh uh.  Nope.  Surely I have more pride than to think I might hugely benefit from calling in a professional to help me with my little 10 pound Pomapoo who is not trying to ruin my life.

And, lastly, I’m not pacing myself — slowly pacing myself — for getting my house in order.  One room at a time.  One closet at a time.  One pile at a time.  Nope, not me.  I would never let my house get so out of control that it would be necessary to pace myself in such a manner.  No, not me!

How about you?  Anything you need to confess or explain?  Feel free to do so on your own blog or in the comments!  Be sure to leave me a link if you decide to blog yours!

Have a great Not Me! Monday!  I am not off to the store for more carpet powder . . . .

That Stinks!

After a very tiring and stressful week, it doesn’t take much to push a mom over the edge.  But then again, this was a bit much . . . .

I haven’t mentioned our dog, Coco, in a while.  For one, I’m not sure he’s a keeper or not.  I mean, some days it is all I can do to feed and care for my children — much less take care of a dumb ol dog.  Ya know what I mean?

Well, Coco has continued — even after a year!– to pee and poop in the house and chew up every little thing in sight.  He drives me absolutely bonkers.  I’ve been close to pulling the plug on the whole dog thing several times, but this past week was a doozy.

The scene:  a very stressful and tiring week; a very exhausted and hormonal mama; late in the day — almost bedtime; even though the day had been trying, I had strictly stuck to Coco’s schedule attempting to keep the carpets free of messes.

Apparently when I sat down to watch a show with Elliot and Zippy, Coco pooped in the other room.  No one saw or smelled the poop.  It was time for Coco to go back in his crate so I put him there.

Shortly after that time, Chloe wandered into the poopy room and promptly stepped one of her bare feet right into the poop.  I’m guessing what happened then is that she sat down to try to get the poop off of her foot . . . at which time she sat in another poop.  Realizing she had sat in another poop, she must have scooted back to try to clean that up.  And so on, and so on, and so on.

All I know for sure is that when I walked in a few minutes later, Chloe and the entire room were covered in very smelly, smeary dog poop.

I screamed and grabbed some wipes, not really knowing what else to do.

Chloe was very frustrated with the mess (and probably disgusted with the smell that she couldn’t get away from!) and was kicking around.  Every time she touched me she left a doggy poop handprint.  I very quickly was gagging and crying and saying unkind things about the canine.

I promised to get rid of the dog as soon as I finished the clean-up.

I grabbed Chloe, stomped off to the bathroom and threw her in, scrubbing and gagging  . . . and scrubbing and crying  . . . and scrubbing and making promises of terrible things done to dogs.

When I had Chloe scrubbed up to my liking, I turned to scrubbing the carpet, still crying and gagging.  And promising to get rid of the dog before sunrise.

Not Me! Monday

Back by popular demand is my Not Me! Monday post where I spill the beans on the embarrassing things I have not been doing all week.  It’s a type of confessional where we folks can freely laugh at ourselves and at each other!

I used to join up with MckMama and lots of other bloggers in Not Me! Monday, where we confessed many things that we absolutely did not do this week!  (Of course we didn’t!)  But I get the feeling that she isn’t do it anymore so today I’m not linking up.

Here are a few things I have not been doing:

First of all, I have not again lost my camera.  No way! Losing a camera once or twice is understandable, but it would be ridiculous for an adult to have lost an expensive piece of equipment yet again.  So, no, I have not lost my camera.  And my husband did not finally have to invest in a new camera just this week since he was saddened by all the events that we now have no picture memories of.  (And I’m not thrilled to have a camera that will allow me to post photos on my blog once again!  Nope.  Not me!)

And I have not been hiding the truth from my bloggy friends about a 4-legged creature that was added to our household about 2 months ago.  <gasp!>  And the reason I’ve withheld that info is not because I’m still not totally convinced that Coco, the crazy disobedient puppy, is going to remain in our household for very much longer.  One of the reasons I’m not sure Coco is staying is surely not simply because I don’t have time, energy, patience, and desire to care for another creature nor train another creature.  Another reason is not because I curse, curse, curse (usually under my breath when the children are home) when I have to clean up potty messes from this added creature — I surely do not feel like I already do enough potty messes without having him add his to the mess mix.  And lastly, I am not incredibly bitter each time I have to ask one of my boys to feed or water the dog or to simply finally get the poor beast out of his crate.  No, surely none of the above are true.  And surely I would have let you know about having a dog when we first got it, knowing that it would be good blog material.  And the whole truth is not that I have found so much unhappiness in having the dog that I couldn’t bear to bring it up.

And please tell me that the above confessed pet did not chew up the shoes of our babysitter last weekend — to the point that she had to go home barefoot!  No Way! That would be too embarrassing to admit.  No, the dog did not eat the babysitter’s shoes.

And the dog did not then chew up two of the boys’ video games — one of which Elliot had saved and saved to buy.  No,  the dog surely did not behave that way, and I am sure not really wishing we did not have a dog.

How about you?  Don’t leave me out here by myself . . .

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