Seeking

We are back in counseling, seeking help with how to be better parents to our crew. I’ve mentioned lately how one of our clan is a bit crazy and disrespectful, seemingly enjoying making the rest of us miserable.

We should never have stopped going to counseling. Hopefully we will learn from this the importance of just staying the course and keeping counseling a priority.

Not surprisingly, the counselor agreed that we are experiencing some major attention-seeking behaviors. And when a child seeks attention, apparently it doesn’t matter if it’s negative or positive attention. (That’s so difficult for me to grasp — why would someone rather me be angry and yell at them than ignore them?)

The answer for now is to ignore (if possible) the negative behaviors and make lots of efforts to give positive attention.

So we’ve been trying to give lots of great attention: play the little hiding games he likes to play, laugh hard at all of his jokes, give lots of tickles and touches, really listen when he’s talking, etc.

I don’t know how long it will take to make a big switch from constant disrespect and annoyance to being a little nicer to his family, but we’ve already made some progress, I think.

We will need to continue to remind each other to ignore stuff and not get all worked up. Apparently any reaction from us is reaction enough for an attention seeker and will just feed the habit of seeking and finding negative attention. So we’ve got to be on the ready at all times to ignore, ignore, ignore.

It’s a never ending process, this parenting thing. I’m thinking we could write a book or 3 at the end of it all.

So… what are you dealing with lately? šŸ˜‰

photo credit: aarontomberlin.com
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3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by tracylcarpenter on March 28, 2013 at 1:32 PM

    For the love …. Parenting …sheesh. Send him to me!

    His Peace John 14:27

    Reply

  2. Good luck, and kudos for seeking help.

    Reply

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