I Finally Did It…

I finally did it.

I committed the unpardonable sin.

I’m not surprised. I figured it was coming, and I knew I was completely capable of doing it. Any mom is in danger of committing it; and probably most of us eventually follow through and actually do it.

Yes, I committed the unpardonable sin.

I completely and totally –100% entirely — embarrassed my child.

The scene: dropping off my junior high son in the drop-off line at school; several other junior high students milling about on the sidewalk and porch; Elliot walking to the building, approximately 35 feet from the car.

I suddenly remembered that I didn’t know what time to pick him up. Was he staying for student council after school, or did I need to pick him up at the regular time?

And then I did it. I knew at the time that it was probably a mistake. My heart knew that I was messing up and that I would not be able to turn back or take it back.

But I did it anyway.

I rolled down the window, and hollered out the window: “Elliot!”

And there. It was done. It was unpardonable. And it was done. It was out there.

I watched as Elliot melted with absolute and utter embarrassment right there on the porch of the school. I watched, wincing with pain, as he turned his face to the bricks of the porch and attempted to disappear from sight. Realizing he could not disappear, he proceeded to nearly turn himself wrong-side-out and shoot me the quickest of tiny glances to see what in the world could be so dire that I would dare shout his name in front of all of these people.

It was too late to turn back. I knew it would be.

So I shouted again. “3:15?”

Elliot stood, still attempting to melt into the bricks, not even looking my way. And I thought I detected the very slightest of nods, agreeing that 3:15 was the correct time. But I couldn’t be sure that that really was a nod.

He was beginning to convince me that the entire world was staring, pointing, and laughing at us both for this unbelievable act committed by a dorky mother right here in the drop-off line in front of everyone.

“3:15?” I shouted again, this time also signing the time just in case he couldn’t hear my yelling voice.

I immediately got the message that signing while yelling at a junior high boy is even worse than just yelling at a junior high boy. Oh, boy. This was getting worse by the moment.

I would surely burn in Hell for this.

Elliot looked at me ever-so-slightly with a look of sheer desperation and gave me a nod that accompanied a look of … well, a look that said something that Elliot is really not allowed to say to his mother.

Elliot once more stuck his face in the bricks of the building until he was sure that the insane yelling from the mini-van had stopped, and he turned and headed into the building, out of sight of the multitudes of teenagers who were surely laughing and pointing and texting and tweeting about the horrific scene out in front of the school.

And I sat there, alone in the pick-up line, ashamed of how I’d behaved. I knew that I had finally committed the unforgivable sin — the one that Elliot will probably hold against me until I go to my grave … and perhaps even beyond the grave.

Yes, I was one of those moms. And I was ashamed.

(Or at least I pretended to be ashamed after I laughed out loud at my funny, horrified, ruined-forever pre-teen boy!)

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7 responses to this post.

  1. BTDT. Moms have to do what moms have to do.

    Reply

  2. Pfffttt! Those other junior high kids wished they had a cool signing, shouting from a mini van mom like Elliot….okay, maybe not at this moment, but they will appreciate the value of it one day.

    I must say, I am quite impressed with you going all of the way to junior high age with your kids and not embarrassing them. Just the other night, while I was singing to Adele my two year old said, “Mama. No sing, please. Thank you.” Eh. At least he used his magic manner words.

    Reply

  3. Posted by Liesl Thompson Jones on March 29, 2012 at 12:19 PM

    Oh my goodness you make me laugh!! I so love your blog.

    Reply

  4. The signing part was a bit much but, it wasn’t so bad. At least you were only talking about the time. I thought it was going to be worse – like I love you or something horrific like that.

    Reply

  5. Posted by Melissa Coco on March 29, 2012 at 3:30 PM

    ah not that bad girl- I am sure I have done much worse:) hehe

    Reply

  6. Posted by Sandy on March 29, 2012 at 6:33 PM

    Baaaahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

    Reply

  7. Posted by Mimi on April 1, 2012 at 3:20 PM

    How could you? I’m quite sure that I never embarassed my children!!! Well,…maybe walking across Belknap Street in a complete Easter Bunny suit! Or maybe the time….never mind. What you did wasn’t so bad!

    Reply

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