Looking Up . . . Looking Out

If you’ve been around here long you know that when I disappear for days at a time, it’s because things are going especially bad or everyday life is just too stressful to find inspiration to write anything worth reading.  And, yes, that’s been the case lately.

We continue to struggle with our school district trying to get the most appropriate education for Chloe.  At every turn, we are faced with more disappointment and more frustration.  It seems each day something else happens to make the situation worse and more concerning.  It is exhausting and all-consuming.

I am certainly guilty of having a one-track mind.  I hardly think about anything else other than our current struggle with the school district.  I can hardly accomplish anything else except the letters and the research.  I seriously have a hard time having a conversation about anything else. 

I am certainly in a little bubble . . . missing things that are going on around me.  I’m quite focused on this task at hand.  Several different times lately I have had the realization that life is going on around me and I’m missing it.  How tragic to miss fun and exciting things with my kids and my husband all because I’m wrapped up in this battle — yes, a battle for my family, for my daughter — but I can’t sacrifice enjoying my family because I’m consumed with fighting for them.

I’ve got to come up for air now and then.  I’ve got to look up from what I’m doing every once in a while.  I’ve got to get up and go outside to play with my kids at some point. 

Yes, I’ve got to look up now and then.

Last night when Elliot and I were driving home from a meeting, it was dark.  There was a man walking down the sidewalk.  He was looking down at his phone, texting while he walked.  He was totally consumed with the conversation he was having on his phone.  He continued to walk down the sidewalk until Whack!  He ran smack dab into a telephone pole!  Seriously!  He immediately laughed at himself as he rubbed the top of his head in pain. 

He should have looked up now and then.

And, yes, I should look up and look out now and then.  I wouldn’t want to run into a telephone pole.  And I wouldn’t want to miss out on valuable time with my family either.


8 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Shannon Rosson on October 12, 2011 at 10:30 PM

    So many of us find ourselves so consumed Kelly with the “fight”. It is the times we get whacked in the head that we finally realize how much we have been missing. I am always happy to lend an ear when you need to vent and let it go. Struggles and challenges make us stronger and help us learn how to fight harder and smarter the next time. Don’t stop fighting but do come up for a long breath along the way, so you don’t miss out on your kiddos!


    • Yes, Shannon. Thanks so much. Hopefully seeing someone else get whacked in the head will suffice as a reminder and wake-up call for me! 🙂


  2. Posted by Tammie on October 13, 2011 at 7:08 AM

    I’ve missed reading your blog and knew you were probably concentrated on other things. So sorry the school year is stressful for you & your children….it certainly makes for a long year and a short summer. Praying for you & your family. The holidays are coming up (and holiday breaks)….a perfect time to celebrate and enjoy your family. Sometimes we need to run into the poles in order to get a new perspective =) I’m sure the man was WAY more aware of his surroundings after running into the telephone pole (and aware of who might have seen him)!


  3. It’s so crazy how fighting with the school is so consuming! I can relate to you, in that I have a hard time letting it go. I want to let it go, I know I need to let it go, but it is so hard to do. In some ways, I think it is a form of acceptance, and I always have issues with that. I don’t want to accept the fact that I will always be dealing with issues with the school. It is a never ending process and it will never go as smoothly as it should. I also think that having Caleb in a gen ed class, makes me see just how easy it should be. ….It’s just hard.


    • Yes, Debbi, we both need to accept the fact that this “battle” is a long one. It’s not just about this year or this semester or this teacher — we’re both in it for the long haul! We need to keep on the road of advocating for your children, for sure. But we both have to pull over at a rest stop now and then to look around and see what all we’ve been missing! Thinking about you, friend!


  4. Posted by heidi on October 14, 2011 at 8:44 AM

    I have to ask the question Kelly, it’s kinda hard for me to ask knowing how close you are with the Lord…..but are you giving him his share of the worries? Or perhaps all of them??


    • Wow. Good question, Heidi. Thanks for asking it. When I put my feelings out for all to read, it certainly gives me a level of accountability. A level of accountability that I need and am comfortable with so thanks for asking. It honestly is an everyday — sometimes several times a day — deal to hand it over to God. And I have had several really good times of insight where God is reminding me that this is not just a battle between our family and the school district, but this battle is a deeply spiritual one. It is a struggle to find the balance of praying for these things and asking God to intervene and then also doing the things that I have to do on my end. I guess that’s how all of our battles / struggles are if we stop to think about it. But, yes, this thing is a spiritual battle that we do not fight alone! Thanks for the reminder this morning!


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