Sick Girl?

Well, earlier this week when I wrote about my being sick, I voiced my concern about what happens when Chloe doesn’t feel well.

I didn’t really have noticeable symptoms this week — I had a migraine one day, a bit of a sore throat for a few days, just an overall feeling of yuckiness, but nothing that anyone would have noticed if I hadn’t been constantly complaining about it.

The day that I mentioned my concerns about Chloe not feeling well, she came home and had received a number (discipline mark) in PE for refusing to participate.  She also didn’t have a great day overall; I think the teacher note said she was “not cooperative.”  I knew that I knew that I knew that probably she didn’t feel well.  I figured she probably had whatever random virus I had.  But she seemed happy enough at home so I decided to go ahead and send her to school on Thursday.  Wish I hadn’t.

Apparently she had a pretty terrible day at school.  She didn’t do any work.  The daily communication said that she seemed frustrated.  She screamed in the hallway and angrily shook her walker in the hallway.  And then apparently she spent some time in the office after the screaming and shaking episode.

Now hear me out here.  Don’t hear me bashing the folks up at the school because I am not.  As I’ve said before, this is their first go-round with the likes of Chloe.  And I’ve said here before how even I oftentimes am left guessing what Chloe is thinking and feeling.  But I think what happened at school was that the screaming and shaking episode was perceived as a behavior issue and the decision was made to take her to the office.  (Let me also say that I have no reason to believe that her time in the office was meant for punishment or anything . . . I’m guessing it was sort of a place to calm down and refocus maybe.)

Since everyone had such a rough start to this school year, I think maybe they’re still not sure what is typical Chloe behavior and what is wow-something’s-not-quite-right behavior.

I very much wish that they had called me to let me know that she was having such a rough day.  I’m guessing she felt horrible like I’ve felt all week.  I’ve seriously hardly gotten off the couch because I feel so yucky.  Had they called me, I would have gone up to get her and brought her home to go to bed.  I’m guessing that’s really all she wanted.

Again, in the school’s defense, they did what they know to do.  And in the past, if they had a kid screaming in the hallway, then they probably removed them to the office to calm down.  It’s all part of the procedure, I’m sure.

And for those of you who are getting upset as you read this, please know that I’m not mad at the school, at the teachers, or at anyone for what happened.  It is just another example of something that I need to communicate, something else that Chloe’s new school has to learn.  I think what they will all learn as the year progresses is that Chloe is a sweet, obedient, quiet kid.  I oftentimes refer to her as “my perfect child.”  And they will come to realize that when Chloe has such an “off day” as she had a couple of days this week, that probably something isn’t right and she doesn’t feel well, and they need to send her home.

So I kept Chloe home from school today.  All she did was lay around all day.  She seemed happy enough, but she certainly didn’t have energy to be up and moving around.  So, yes, she probably doesn’t feel well.  And I’m very glad I kept her home.

My plan is to have a conversation with the folks at school and explain to them what I think happened this week.  I feel sure they’ll be understanding and open to my thoughts and suggestions.  I think they are well aware that they need my support and input and help for us all to have a good experience and for Chloe (and them) to be successful.

When Chloe appears to act out, I long for them to see her struggling to tell them something.  When she has a day of being unhappy and uncooperative, I long for them to know that something isn’t right.  When she has a day that is making them all miserable, I want them to consider that maybe she is the one who is miserable.  And I will ask them to call me at those times so we can try to figure it out together.

They will.  They will learn.  They will learn to understand her.  Just like her other teachers in the past learned and learned to understand Chloe, they will, too.  They will.  I know they want to.  I appreciate them and their care for Chloe.  I know they want to help her and to understand her.  I can see it in their notes home to me.  I can see it in their interactions with her.  They are connecting with her.  And the more they connect with her, the more they will learn to understand her and to read her.  And, believe me, I understand how frustrating it is to try to figure out what she’s not communicating.

Just another challenge of having a nonverbal child. . . .


4 responses to this post.

  1. I have a non-verbal daughter and the toughest thing for me and the school has been getting them to see my daughter’s behavior as communication, not that she is just being a naughty little girl. My daughter is in her third year with the same parapros and I think they sometimes have her figured out, but other times not so much. It takes time…
    It sure does break your heart when you realize that your daughter is sick but can’t tell those who are caring for her and they don’t see it.


    • It’s amazing every time I hear from someone who gets it on the same level as I do. . . . Bless you and your daughter in your journey! Yes, it is often heartbreaking. Thanks so much for stopping by to read and for commenting. It means a lot to me to know there are people struggling through the same stuff as we are. I look forward to spending some time on your blog later today. Bless you!


  2. […] Chloe was in the nurse’s office meant that Chloe’s aide or teacher or someone knew that things weren’t quite right with her.  Yay! […]


  3. […] feel like I have posted this same “song” before.  Same song, SEVENTH verse!  But here it goes again . . […]


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