Adoption Journal – 8

Yesterday, I left you right in the middle of a big decision time for Paul and me.  Today, I’ll finish up that journal entry for you.

Remember that we had said YES on the worksheet to many adoption scenarios.  Then our caseworker, Machele, had told us about 2 babies -soon to be born- who had family of history of mental illness.  She asked us to pray about them and to let her know what we decided.

Wow.  We were pretty overwhelmed.

Paul had said time and time again that he wanted to adopt a hard-to-place child, a child that perhaps wouldn’t have a home if we didn’t adopt him/her.  These two baby girls surely fit that category.  Is this what God wanted for us?  And what about the fact that the babies were white?  Wasn’t God calling us to non-white adoption?  Or was that just something we had decided on?

We thought, prayed, and worried about this decision for several days.  We researched bipolar and schizophrenia.

In the end, we decided to say NO to both of these adoption plans . . . .  It was a difficult phone call to make to Machele that Friday.  It felt weird to say NO.  One day we said an absolute YES to hypothetical situations.  Two days later when faced with two very real situations, we said NO.

What did that mean for us?  We decided to keep our general answer YES to mental illness — we would still consider babies coming from mentally ill birthmothers and families.  We also decided the timing was wrong.  Three weeks was too soon.  Also, we were reminded how specifically God seemed to direct us to non-white adoption.  But mostly, we lacked a peace about both of those babies.  After making the difficult decision — however hard it was — we felt a peace again.  We felt like God wanted us to say NO.

Machele was awesome and understanding.  She didn’t question us or condemn us for our decision.

We still feel confident that we made the right decision.  Perhaps that won’t be the last tough decision we make during this process.

Lord, I pray for these two baby girls.  I pray for their health that they would both be physically and mentally whole.  I pray that they would both be placed in loving adoptive homes at birth.  I pray for peace, comfort, and joy for the babies, their birthmothers, and the adoptive families.  Thank you for guiding us and for giving us peace.  I pray that this small emptiness and hurt that I feel for these two babies would be a reminder to pray for them and other special needs children in need of families.  Raise Your people up to adopt them, Lord!

Wow!  What an emotional time for us!

Again today, I pray for those two baby girls — now 8-years-old.  Lord, would you continue to prove Your love for them?  Would you protect their bodies and their minds?  Would you continue to make them whole, Lord?  And would you strengthen and bless the families that I hope adopted them.  Lord, love on those two girls real good!

 

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